Old-lady blouses make me look like a rich Disney villain.
I’m at a thrift store, and I see an immaculate slice of toast next to a shattered lightbulb.
I started snorting at the thought of some guy holding a slice of toast and a lightbulb, then mistakenly taking a bite out of the lightbulb and being like
“LOL SILLY ME”
And then dying
Spontaneous tattoo last night.
Because ampersands give me funny feelings〜♪
I’ll be getting two black lightning bolts on my waist later. (｀ω´ )
I’m bonkers for that boring shit played in super markets and elevators.
None of that New-Wave crap.
I’m talkin’ straight up, uncensored Lawrence Welk.
And I have no idea why.
Puberty gave me Bossa Nova feelings.